The hard truth behind self-care
We all know (largely because it’s crammed down our throats) that self-care is important. Self-care has been defined as providing adequate attention to one's own physical and psychological wellness (Beauchamp & Childress, 2001). But the truth is, to provide ourselves adequate attention requires a lot of sacrifice in other areas and many people may not have the time. In fact, many people are juggling multiple responsibilities - a full-time job, children, those children’s activities, etc. With all that the average person is juggling, what time is left for self-care?
We’ve all likely said, “there just aren’t enough hours in the day” and when it comes to self-care, that may very well be true. For some self-care may be easier if they are willing to sacrifice in other areas, such as not being the highest performer at their job or not making it to every kid’s event. Surprisingly it also takes a lot of work to engage in self-care whether that be the mental energy to tell yourself to do it or the physical energy it might take to do something like head to the gym for that after work workout.
The reality is self-care IS that important. Regular engagement in self-care has been clinically proven to reduce depression, anxiety, and stress and improve things like concentration, happiness, and energy (Glowiak, 2020). I know it’s difficult to think about what you would have to give up to have more “you” time but imagine how much better of a “you” you’ll be. This doesn’t have to be a daily sacrifice, although for some the sacrifice of an extra thirty minutes of sleep for some quiet morning time is well worth it. You may struggle with guilt or shame at first, thinking that you “should” be doing something else. You may even find yourself having some critical self-talk for doing what feels good for YOU. I encourage you to practice self-compassion here and remember that the saying is true – “you can’t pour from an empty cup”.
So, if you’ve found yourself frustrated with trying to find the time to engage in self-care, you’re not alone. It is hard. But it is important. Be patient and take small steps. Maybe start with a weekly self-care goal, address it in therapy, and slowly work your way towards daily self care practices. I promise you it’s worth it.
Robyn Sonnier, LPC, NCC, CCTP-II, CMCC
Co-Owner of Clarté Counseling, LLC
Beauchamp, T. L., & Childress, J. F. (2001). Principles of biomedical ethics (5th ed.). New York: Oxford University Press.
Glowiak Apr 14, M. (2020, April 14). What is self-care and why is it important for you? Southern New Hampshire University. Retrieved September 8, 2022, from https://www.snhu.edu/about-us/newsroom/health/what-is-self-care
