Why therapy is only about 20% of what you do in session.
Going to therapy is a big step and it is certainly not something to be minimized. But as a therapist, it seems that many people are confused about the role of therapy in helping you to achieve your goals.
The truth is that the actual therapy is session is usually only about 20% of the full therapeutic process. The other 80% comes from the work you do outside of the session.
This is not to say that the therapy session is not worth it or is not important. The therapy session is the foundation. It is what sets you up to build on outside of the session.
Think about it, the average person attends one therapy session a week, likely one hour per week. Now think about how much time you spend outside of session, about 105 to 126 hours of actual awake time. So, in reality that hour isn’t much.
The goal of the therapy session is to help you work through issues that are impacting your day-to-day life and give you the tools and skills you need to utilize outside of the session.
Think of it like this. The therapist is somewhat like that of a personal trainer. You can go to the gym and listen to your trainer but if you aren’t making changes outside of your training sessions, if you aren’t the one picking up the weights and doing the exercises, you won’t see the change.
Therapy can also be a beautiful space to help you with resolution. This is especially helpful for survivors of trauma. Working with a trauma trained therapist can give you the space you need to safely work through unresolved traumas. The therapist can help you work through how to handle symptoms outside of the session with the ultimate goal of you being in a place to feel safe to handle life on your own.
Remember, the goal of therapy is not to have you in therapy for the rest of your life but rather to help you to get to a place where therapy is something you return to as you need it. If you aren’t doing the work outside of your sessions, you may notice that there isn’t much change going on.
You may find that it is more helpful for you to have specific homework assignments outside of your sessions. You can always ask your therapist for homework or other goals to focus on between session. The therapist is simply there to help YOU achieve your goals. Unfortunately, we can’t achieve those goals for you.
Robyn Sonnier, LPC, NCC, CCTP-II, CMCC
Co-Owner of Clarté Counseling, LLC
